Questions.

What is love, and how do we know...really, truly know when that love is real?

One of the hardest questions we face in this world, and it's something that's been revolving around in my head since late last night. You may think this odd or weird, but those late nights when I can't sleep, I sit and stare at the ceiling in the dark, kind of phase my eyes out of focus and tune the rest of the world out and have a chat with God. Sometimes He listens...sometimes He answers...other times it feels like I'm just rambling into the answering machine.

Even so, those late nights of thought - be it God or my own mind and heart giving me the answers i'm looking for...well, those moments of clarity are few and far between, but when they occur, it's something I've learned not to ignore.

What is love? How do I know I'm in love? How do I know I'm being loved?

Over and over and over, those questions have been circling around in my brain, like rotating puzzle pieces, trying to make them fit together and see the answer come together. But is it really that easy? Can staring at the ceiling, waiting for some divine inspiration really answer one of mankind's greatest mysteries...or am I just waiting for the beep to leave a message again?

Again, call me crazy, or laugh it off...I won't fault you one bit. It's taken a lot of years, a lot of tears and pain, and a lot of failure on my part to come to these conclusions.

What is love?

Love is sacrifice. It is a giving of yourself, your heart, your soul to another, be it a child, a parent, a friend, a partner. Some say to define love, look to Jesus as our example. Without delving too deeply into the theology, the pureset example of God's love for us was His giving His only son's life for our sins. It is the ultimate sacrifice of Himself, for us. That is love.

Love is a mother's calming touch when we're in pain.
Love is a friend's support without even being asked.
Love is a father's embrace of strength and security when we're scared.

Love is the unyielding sacrifice to another for nothing but that person's happiness. To give them trust, faith, hope, safety, joy and security in knowing that no matter what they face, no matter how far they fall, you will always give yourself to them without flinching, without question...without a moment's hesitation.

Love is the total surrender of your heart to that person, knowing...
believing...that they will treat it better than you will.

And therein lies the rub. It is God's greatest gift, and His greatest quandry of the human condition.

How can we totally sacrifice ourselves, when time and time again it seems that when we do...when we finally let those walls down...let those wounds heal...accept our scars...when we reach the edge of that final cliff, our self-preservation kicks in, and we shy away from what we know is real, and true, and wonderful?

Why is it so goddamned hard to love?

Is it the sacrifice itself, or is it fear overriding our common sense, displacing our trust and faith in ourselves and in others?

It's a monumental task, to overcome those fears and second-guessing. But my god...when you find that love, and you willingly give yourself over... *sigh* Even me, nary a moment without something to say or the words to say it - even I find it hard to describe just how fiercely real this kind of love is, like a fire that burns in my chest with such incredible intensity.

Let me put it this way, I guess..

If I had a wish. Just one wish in this entire world to do with what I so desired, you know what I would wish for?

I would wish for the entire world, each and every person out there, to be able to see and feel the world through my eyes, through my heart. I would wish for every single one of you to know what I know, and to know true, unshakable, unquestioned love. I would wish for the entire world to know what it's like to just be near her, and feel my entire heart and spirit glow with life, happiness and love.

I would wish for the entire world to see through my eyes, through my heart, when she looks back at me and I just know, without ever having to say a word.


Love is sacrifice. It is the unquestioned, unflinching giving of one's self to another in all that we do, from the smallest, almost unoticeable tasks to the most ultimate of sacrifice. Taking out the garbage when you say you will. Stopping what you're doing to teach a child how to tie a shoelace. Opening a stuck jar lid. Being there when a friend just needs you to listen and not judge.

Love is a mom doing everything thing she can to protect her children.
Love is a father's teaching and patience.

Love is strength. It is honesty. It is an undying willingness to be and do whatever we must to protect and cherish those around us.

Love is the breath of life itself, and knowing it...knowing true, unshaking love is one of the most inspiring gifts we can encounter in this life.

I've found it, and I've made a promise to that love, to that sacrifice. Patience, strength, honesty, trust...all for nothing else but her happiness in life. To know what I know. To surrender that heart willingly, and to know that I will cherish and protect it...her...until the end of time itself.

That is love. And it is incredible.