New year, same pants.

Wow, ok world...I get it. It's a new year, and there are a thousand and one things to hold retrospective anthologies about, from Best\Worst , to Top <#> of 2006.

I get it. It's over. 2006 is history, and you can't see where you're going if you keep looking back at where you've been, right?

Besides, was 2006 such a banner year, or do we kind of get wrapped up in the holidays (pun intended), for better or worse?

I dunno. I think it's a little of both...part lemming syndrome, and part real need to just change pace a little, go back and cherish the slightest hint of fond childhood memories, or even just try extra-hard to be a decent human being, if even just for a couple weeks in December.

Either way, I do it. You do it. We all fall into the holiday madness in some way, regardless of belief, skin color or theological belief. It's hard not to in our over-commercialized Land of the Consumer, isn't it.

Even so, I think our greatest holiday fallacy is the New Year's Resolution.

res·o·lu·tion –noun

1. a formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting, by a formal organization, a legislature, a club, or other group. Compare concurrent resolution, joint resolution.
2. a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.
3. the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.
4. the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.
5. the act or process of resolving or separating into constituent or elementary parts.
6. the resulting state.
7. Optics. the act, process, or capability of distinguishing between two separate but adjacent objects or sources of light or between two nearly equal wavelengths. Compare resolving power.
8. a solution, accommodation, or settling of a problem, controversy, etc.
9. Music. a. the progression of a voice part or of the harmony as a whole from a dissonance to a consonance.
b. the tone or chord to which a dissonance is resolved.

10. reduction to a simpler form; conversion.
11. Medicine/Medical. the reduction or disappearance of a swelling or inflammation without suppuration.
12. the degree of sharpness of a computer-generated image as measured by the number of dots per linear inch in a hard-copy printout or the number of pixels across and down on a display screen.
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[Origin: 1350–1400; ME < L resolūtiōn- (s. of resolūtiō), equiv. to resolūt(us) resolute + -iōn- -ion]
—Synonyms 4. resolve, determination, perseverance, tenacity; strength, fortitude.

...now, by and large, when speaking of calendar years rolling over, we go with Definition #2, and in most regards, setting such hard, fast resolve just makes the fall and failure that much farther and painful, doesn't it?

Who hasn't set a resolution for themselves, only to face the stark reality that quitting smoking or getting back in the gym or learning a new language is fucking hard, and come mid-March we're teetering on acceptance of our failures and vow to spend the next 8 months working towards a less concrete goal...perhaps just cutting back a little, and by next New Year's, well...dammit, we'll be ready!!

Fuck that.

If you want to quit smoking, you will, regardless of what your new calendar looks like.

If you want to get back in the gym, you'll find a way or you won't, and you don't have to butcher a traditional song like "Auld Lang Syne" in between keg-stands to tell you when it's ok to get started on improving yourself.

However, the end of one year and the moving into a new one is most certainly a time for reflection, of running the numbers of your life and see how you fared. I spent some time over the past weekend doing just that, and all told, my 2006 was pretty goddamned incredible.

The past year saw me:

- Turn 30
- Survive another company-wide layoff
- Discover a career
- Bring to life some old talents that I'd all but given up on
- Shed a bad relationship that should've ended long before '06
- Re-discover the meaning of family and friendship
- Realize long hair just isn't for me
- Discover what love really is, and how important it is to our lives
- Re-discover the absolute joy and peace in a child's smile
- Fall completely in love with someone that I cherish, and quite by accident

...and the rest, the in-between bits, are certainly documented (sporadically) here in these journal pages.

Looking back, it's been quite an impressive year for me. Yes, I need to quit smoking again, and yes, I need to get back in the gym again, and yes, I need to continue to focus on my career and my relationships. Those are every-day resolutions, and sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail.

So, instead of Definition #2, I went with #10 instead:

10. reduction to a simpler form; conversion.

This just seems right to me, and probably because it's a large part of what took place in my life over the past year. I've simplified my entire life, making things easier to manage, and presenting myself with exactly what I want, and what I need around me.

So, to continue that theme, I've given myself goals instead of just a resolve. Goals not just for 2007, but for the rest of my life:

- Happiness
- Purpose

...eh? See? Simple.

Happiness: I've found a level of happiness that I never thought possible in Amy.
Sure, I'll be the first to admit that it isn't easy. Kids, crazy relatives, annoying dog, hectic schedules, power outtages...you name it, we get to deal with it in some fashion. But I've got to tell you: I love being in love with that woman. I absolutely thrill in it, waking up next to her, crazy hair all over the place, just feeling her warmth near me.

Yeah, it's not easy. Nothing worth the effort in this world is ever easy, and she is most certainly worth the effort.

Which leads me to Simplified Goal of Life #2:

Purpose: I'm slowly beginning to find more purpose in my life, and not just to accomplish tasks like I'm working on a project. I really want to feel like I'm doing something to better the world, if even just the immediate world around me. It doesn't have to be so grandoise as to joining the Peace Corps and building mud huts in Zimbabwe - 'though that would be kinda cool.

I want purpose across the spectrum: I want to improve the world, I want to help people - perfect strangers that I'll never meet, and I want to improve my world and the loved ones that surround me.

So, in a very yin-yang, Zen-like way, my Happiness has given me the gateway to my Purpose, and discovering that Purpose, reveling in it and being excited about it... has given me even more Happiness.

I'm excited about 2007. I think this year is going to bring another round of firsts and discoveries to my life, and I welcome them all, even the rough ones.

- I enjoy my new job, but it is contract work.
Then again, there's a certain freedom to it all...I've never been much of the 9 to 5 guy anyway.

- My remaining grandparents will die.
I worry about my mom and how she will deal with things, but next to Amy, she's the toughest and strongest person I've ever known in my life. In a very harsh reality of life, their passing will relieve a great weight from my mother's shoulders.

- My daughter will be moving away.
North Carolina is a long ways away, but if even for a year trial-run, this could be a defining year in our relationship as kid and dad. She is a true Daughter of the 21st Century - divorce, text messaging, OnDemand cable, Barbie laptops, cell phones, war, global warming...her world is so much different than mine was at 6 years old, and I marvel at her ability to cope with it all and never losing herself, her just being a kid.

Some tough realities ahead of me, but again, I welcome them as part of the adventure. All in all, I want what everyone wants: a happy, simple, honest life to share with those I love, and everything I do is with that goal in mind. It didn't used to be that way, but my Happiness, she's shown me another way...and my Purpose, it's keeping me focused and driven.

The hell with resolutions. Just try simplifying and see where it gets you. :)


Happy New Year -

//end.