If I could trade in a sibling like a car, she'd be the upgrade..

Penny Arcade

Woot!

   

Coming soon...

   

Monday, November 27, 2006

No natural ingredients here...

Man, what a weekend. If it weren't for a very, very comfortable bed and a very, very love-of-my-life someone being in it with me, I don't think I would have survived the great devouring of large bird festivities, but I did, and it was good.

Lemme break it down for you:

- Wednesday evening was spent....well, to be honest I don't really remember, but I do know that it involved some vodka and\or rum and varying degrees of stress, the least of which stemming from the impending doom of the "T-Minus 18 hours until Turkey Day with Crazy Family" countdown. I am forever thankful that hanging out with my family is so NOT stressful..I really felt bad for Amy, having to face that down, but like the bad mother-trucker that she is, she soldiered forward and managed to survive the Thursday to end all Thursdays. More on that later...

- MY Turkey Day started off relatively simple enough - Amy and the kids shuffled out of the house earlier in the morning, heading off to Mom's like beaten prisoners of war, dragging their feet through insurmountable bouts of 'I don't wanna go!'...my heart wept for all three of them, darnit.

I, on the other hand, had to make final preparations for the annual Orphans Thanksgiving down at Gary's in the U-District. The Orphans Thanksgiving may sound a little down-trodden, but it most certainly is not; essentially, it's a place for anyone that either doesn't have family around for the holiday, or doesn't WANT to have family around for the holiday. Either way, it's an excuse for all of us to hang out together, have some great food, and drink ourselves silly.

I was up for doing the deep-fried turkey again this year, and once again, I proved myself a culinary genius.

Well ok - to be honest, it's pretty hard to completely fail at deep-fried turkey, but I was rather proud of myself and how the big bird turned out. The whole thing got devoured inside of an hour too, so the meat-eaters in attendance seemed to agree on the quality of the thing. The anti-meat hippies did also provide some insanely good food as well; Shawn made the best biscuits I've ever tasted, and I'm from Texas so that's saying a lot; Keith whipped up some incredible mushroom gravy and the most interesting and tasty mix of mashed 'taters mixed with sweet potatoes...incredible.

Bizkit offered up the fresh cranberries and bread pudding, and Wes's jumbaliya (sp?) was amazing as always.

So all told, we ate ourselves completely retarded, and topped it off with Skippy's giant cooler full of jell-o shots in assorted flavors. I started to get extremely tired around 6'ish and decided it was time to roll on out, and I wasn't sure what Amy had planned for the evening. No, balls are NOT in the purse (yet) but we had been planning on getting out in the brisk 3am air of Black Friday and maybe snagging a gift or two for the kids on the cheap - as luck would have it, Amer's mom volunteered to quarter the kiddos for the night....hoo-fucking-ray!! So off to the bar we went, finding that the 'Shoe does have one redeeming quality - it was open on Thanksgiving!

We settled in, had our beers in hand, and I wanted to play pool. There was a couple on the table already, and as to be expected, Amy wandered right on over to them, struck up a conversation and before I knew it, we had two brand-new shiny friends\drinkin' buddies named Eddie and Ami with an 'I'.

Eddie and Ami with an 'I' were up from Portland for the holiday visiting friends and family, and they must've completely stumbled across the 'Shoe, as it is most certainly NOT the type of place you actually decide to go to, unless the following apply:

- you are or were an employee of BD&A
- your name's Buzz.

Either will do. As luck would have it, Eddie and Ami were both very punk\retro stylie, complete with badass tattoos and very skinny jeans. Both were originally from Philly and had that great east-coast Philly accent...it's not quite "Baah-ston" and not quite "New Yowk"...somewhere right in the middle and I could listen to them curse at the pool balls and their beers for hours.

As the evening progress, the super-rad Kelly arrived, albeit briefly since we had just discovered that the sign on the door to the 'Shoe did NOT read open from 6pm to 2am. No no. In fact, that '2' in question was a rather poorly drawn question mark, loading heavy on the confusion and several slightly-drunk bar patrons not wishing to have to leave at 11:20pm.

But, such is life. We headed up to Big Daddy's, which wasn't open much longer than the 'Shoe was, but it did give us time to have another drink, decompress from the Thanksgiving Day chaos, and hang out with Eddie and Ami with an 'I'.

Interesting side-note: turns out that Ami's father is none other than Randy "The Natural" Couture, one of the greatest MMA\UFC fighters ever. She even had their family name tattooed on her arm...how fucking cool is that? :)

Well into the evening, very tired, kind of drunk, the decompressing stages of the day's events starting to catch up with both of us, Amy and I had our first real "battle of bands" so to speak, and...well. Won't bore you with the details, but everything worked out, and proved yet again that the inane stress and chaos of the holiday season can take its toll on any and everyone no matter how hard you try and fight it. The ironic plot-point of note is that at roughly 5:30 Friday morning, both of us exhausted, she having just returned from a failed attempt at Black Friday consumerism...I felt even closer and more in love with her than ever before. It's a pretty retarded way to reach those kinds of milestones, I'll grant that - but sooner or later, the first 'big fight' is going to happen. There's no point in fighting the inevitable - what matters is how you survive it, and hopefully come out the other side with a clearer understanding and even more common ground than you had before...which is exactly what we did. Kind of trial by fire, I suppose. Either way, it reaffirmed just how strong my feelings are for that woman, even when she's being Ms. Crankypants. :)

- Friday morning, with slightly less than 4 hours of actual sleep, Amy was out the door again to gather up the children and hopefully spend a relaxing Friday off catching up on sleep, and I think she did just that (thankfully). I packed up my shit and headed to my mom's beach place up north to go hang out with my family who'd arrived cold and road-weary the evening prior. For those that haven't mushed through that particular trek, the drive from Spokanistan to Seattle is both mind-numbingly boring and excruciatingly painful at the exact same time. Their trip was worsened by the craptacular weather that we've had rolling through the passes, and Snoqualmie Pass was all kinds of fucked up by the time they hit that milestone. But, long shitty drive aside, they arrived in one piece and in good spirits, and when I arrived early Friday, Benny and Luke both had beer in-hand and big smiles.

Also in attendance was my sister Molly and her progeny Hayley, who just keeps getting cuter and smarter every time I see her. All told, we had a great Friday\Late T-Day gathering, and my third attempt (twice in as many days) at the Deep-Fried Turkey Project was a massive success yet again. I'm getting the whole art and science of deep-frying large quantities of poultry down pretty well, but I do need to work on the cajun rub a little more for next year. I think I went a little heavy on the cumin and cayenne pepper this last time around, but it still turned out really well.

After a lengthy battle of food-devouring, we all settled in for the afternoon, watching the waves splash up the breakwall, picking at leftovers and just enjoying each other's company. Later in the evening, as with any Pate holiday gathering, beer + food coma + brothers = feats of strength and stupidity, and Darby promises to send me the pictures ASAP. I've also got some pretty good video footage of the day's events, but I need to rip it from my phone and convert it to a slightly better format. It'll be worth the wait, I promise.

Later in the evening, I was just flat-out exhausted, given the combination of drink, great food, and having only slept 3-4 hours within the past 35 hour time frame. We were playing some Cranium game and I was literally falling asleep at the table, barely able to keep my eyes propped up. Normally I would've just crashed out there at Mom's, but having 5 other people there already, things were getting a little crowded as it was, and I desperately wanted to crawl into my own warm bed [aka The Optimus Prime], so I headed out for the evening.

- Saturday I slept in, and after slowly creeping back into the land of the living, I gathered up supplies and headed over to Amy's to spend the afternoon. Andy was in town for the weekend, having hauled a load of sugar to Tacoma and to spend Thanksgiving with family, so we got to hang out and help work on some chores for Amy while we were there.

What? You really think she'd let us get away with sitting around drinking beer all afternoon eh? Uh-huh.

So Andy was on cleaning duty while I repaired minor door issues and some furniture malfunctions, and Amy started prepping a beef & curry over jasmine rice dinner that just absolutely kicked ass. Ended the evening just hanging out and talking, saw Andy off to go see his friends in Seattle, and then got the kids to bed and we hunkered down and watched 'The Boondock Saints', which my dearest had never even heard of.

I know, I was just as shocked and appalled. But have no fear, the situation has been rectified.

- Sunday I headed back up to hang out with the family once more, thinking they might be able to push off for Spokane that afternoon. When I arrived, though, it turns out that the passes had been getting hammered with snow all weekend and they weren't going anywhere any time soon. So, calls were placed and arrangements made, and they all settled back in for another day\evening at Mom's.

My family's big on several things: we laugh, drink, smoke, eat\cook, and play games. Our usual games are things like Cranium, Scattergories and the like. Darby picked up two new games, both of which turned out to be incredibly fun.

The first and most enjoyable was CatchPhrase, the point of the game being a very charades\10,000 Pyramid kind of team game, where the little machine gives you a word or a phrase and you have to think of ways to get your team mates to guess it without saying any of the actual words. Insanely fun, especially with the likes of my brothers.

The other game was ImagineIF, another very fun game, but I think it was subject to not being as fun as CatchPhrase, so the shiny fun-ness was somewhat diluted.

Amidst our rollicking of beer, food and games, a massive weather system moved in from some deep wintery part of Hell itself, and it began snowing. Like, a lot. Watching it come down in big, slow puffballs of frozen driving doom, I figured it was time to hit the road or get snowed in myself, which truthfully wouldn't be a horrible thing, but a very beautiful woman and extremely warm and comfy bed sounded a great deal more appealing than sharing the floor with my brothers.

The snow came down in large billowing walls of white, and it wasn't sticking heavily to the roads, but enough that it made everyone nervous, and I never got out of 2nd gear the entire trip home from the beach to Woodinville. Doing most of my growing up in Spokompton, you just learn to deal with snow - shoveling it, driving in it, throwing it at your siblings as hard as you can. Here in Seattle, home of the "An SUV for Every Yuppie!" political agenda, you'd think the drivers and snow would get along in some fashion, but no no no. The mere sight of the stuff sent some folks into a complete panic, pulled off to the side of the freeway with their hazards blinking away. Not I, oh no. I'd survived driving through one of Utah's worst blizzards in the past 10 years, at 2am, while driving OUT of the worst road in the greater Grand Canyon\Mount Zion Nat'l Park on a one-lane road towing a 10' trailer. That's driving in the snow...this was just an excuse to power-brake around corners and rally the Blue Bomber in the Staples parking lot like I was back in high school.

I only wished that my brothers with me to properly snow-jog on the bumper of the car. :)

All told, great, great weekend...I hope everyone else's was as eventful and relatively safe as ours. Next stop: Christmas!

\\end

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Destination: Awesome

See? Do you see what happens to Der Bloggen when Andrew goes back to work?

Ok, yes - only a day or five off from making with the updates, but it's not like anyone really pays attention to this. Except you crazy cats in Thailand** - smooches!

**Yeah, you didn't think I was paying any attention to the site's traffic, did ya?**


So! Where are we here...I smell bullet points:

- At last recall, Kelly's birthday weekend was a smashing success, although I only heard of the corndog & french fry rally second-hand via Amy and the kids. Kelly herself actually relayed some very funny thoughts on birthdays, of which I share the very same perspective. Go hit up the LJ and enjoy the commentary.

- Kind of last minute notice, but I finally got to meet Amy's very good friend\former man-nanny (also known as a 'Manny'), Andy.

Now, up to that point late last week, my only knowledge of Andy the Manny was related in very funny anecdotals from Amy's vida loca, as it were. Still, I had no real preconceived notions about the guy, other than knowing that Amy cared about him greatly, and he stepped up and really helped her out when she needed it the most a while back (hence the Manny bit - at the request of Amy's brother, Andy was sent on a mission, one he knew he may not survive or return from with all digits\appendages intact).

The mission was to help her in any way he could, and at the time, Amy being single mom with kids in tow, full-time job, and all the in-betweens of the Life Pinata, The Manny was born of fire and chaos.

A tough assignment to be sure - it takes a certain type to not just get along with the kids, but to understand them and know how to work with them. Andy met that challenge and more, and, as Amy tells it, was truly a savior when she needed it the most in her life. He even managed to get locked out on the balcony for what I can only imagine as far too long, and yet, did NOT stuff Child A or B into the fridge once free of his patio prison sentence.

Because of all that, I knew that I was going to like the guy, and I wasn't wrong.

He recently became a long-haul trucker, and having just graduated from truck driving school somewhere in Montana, was going to be in town over the weekend, priming to make a delivery this Monday. Being last-minute is just sort of the way of Andy according to Amy, and sure - wrinkled our plans of a quiet weekend at home working on our projects and watching football, but I've quickly learned that, with Amy, the best-laid plans are merely wistful forethoughts rather than hard & fast action items. Which, truth be told, is a very, very good thing in my life.

So Andy rolled into town, found a place to park his 53 ft. trailer and we pretty much hung out all weekend and had a great time.
He's a really interesting guy, and a few beers into the evening on Saturday, we started throwing around some incredibly funny ideas for the screenplay, most of which I did manage to scribble down in some form or another. It was also fun to hear some of the related Amy stories from his perspective, and it was easy to see that he really did care about her and the kids...he's just one of those rare friends that will always come through for you when you need it the most in life, and him being a big part of Amy's recent history, it was an absolute pleasure getting to meet and hang out with him.

It was also a little litmus test for me to pass, whether I wanted it to be or not.

This was really the first opportunity for me to meet and interact with someone near and dear to Amy's life that was not a mutual friend, acquaintance or coworker. Andy and I were heading back to the house from Kent (the nearest truck stop we could locate that had the banking facilities he needed), and he said something to the effect of being 'very happy and glad that Amy found someone like [me]'...and that, well...

It meant a lot to me. Perhaps more than I had initially realized, but to receive the approval from someone that Amy loves and trusts like that - that was a big deal for me...for us, and I thanked him in kind for saying as much. Then he bought me lunch as thanks for driving him to Kent, and we returned to being not-gay guys grunting over football and smoking and drinking too much.

All told, another fine weekend, and very much what I needed to keep myself sane prior to starting back to work. I use the term work loosely at the moment, as I'm currently spending the next couple of days just immersing myself in as much data as I can find about my new project and related applications\products. The guy giving the training material is kind of bland, but in all honesty, this is the most useful online training material I've ever experienced. Kudos to whoever created Producer for MS PowerPoint...that app is friggin' cool.

- Almost forgot: Thanksgiving is just about upon us, and as such, it is only right that I provide to you (yes, even you in Thailand) my tried and tested deep-fried turkey recipe and preparation steps.

Now to preface this: if you've never experienced deep-fried turkey, then you have most certainly not lived a full and complete life to this point. If by some horrible twist of events, or the world just seems to be plottin' on you and cannot acquire even a sampling of what we refer to as the DFT (Deep-Fried Turkey), then please email me directly, get directions to where I'll be this coming Thursday\Turkey Day, and I will set aside a portion of my very own DFT...just for you. You.

Oh, looks like I've got some more reading to do here at work, so I'm going to relay the Do-It-Yourself DFT steps and recipes later today. Trust me, it'll be worth the wait.

ILY

\\end

sinj.rage@gmail.com

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

It's all in the wrist.

One day, months and months ago, trudging through another work week as per usual, a then-coworker suggested that several of us meet at a local watering hole for a beer. It was early on in the 'getting to know people at work' stage, and promises of a cold beer and some conversation sounded appealing to be sure.

One such person I met that particular night was Kelly, and at the time, my buddy Glenn had the very early stages of interest in her. With that in mind yet very low on the priority list of things to consider that evening, we hung out, enjoyed the imbibing of fine alcohol and bearing with crappy service (although the waitress that night meant well, I'm sure).

My pre-loaded knowledge of Kelly was via Glenn's briefing earlier that afternoon:

Have you seen that blonde chick that rides the rice-rocket over there? as we walked over to the other building.

No, I surely had not but my interest was certainly piqued, and sure enough, an almost-6 foot, smokin' hot blonde that rode a bike was outside smoking with us that night at the bar.

Now, for most of my career as a human bean, I've been naturally observant of others, always mentally taking notes on how people act, the things they say...more to get past the day-to-day facades we all present to the outside world and really see who and what that person is about. It didn't take long to see Kelly had quite a protective barrier around her, and as luck would have it, our little beer-after-work society would expound upon that very topic in the near future for reasons unknown to this very day.

But it didn't matter. I liked Kelly, and as much as I get the "pshaw - riiiiight" reaction when I say it wasn't because of the obvious Hot level. I mean yes, of course - she's beautiful, extremely intelligent, and has a comedic wit and playful sarcasm about her that rivals mine - but I had absolutely zero attraction. Sure, I was at the tail-end of a crash & burn relationship at the time, and I knew it, which probably helped place my perspective above that particular mindset. Whatever it was, I was perfectly happy getting to know the Kelly beyond that immediate set of circumstances. Over the course of months and more beer than I care to quantify, we shared stories, she talked about traveling abroad and the places she'd seen and the things she'd done. Collectively, we worked out issues, dealt with problems at work, and why men\women are such psychos, exasperated by the fact that we, the opposite sex, want them and their psychosis in our lives so badly.

The entire time, I was pulling for my boy Glenn, but it was early on in the foundation of the Slugger's Society that you could see she wasn't interested. It didn't matter much - we all managed to act like adults (most of the time), and we all still had a great time hanging out, eating greasy bar food, drinking too much, bitching about work, throwing darts and watching the bar life go by once or twice a week.

With that, varied and sparse runnings-into at work. A very fun but brief episode of kidnapping her beloved Victor (a tale for another day). One HELL of a day\night\morning in Vegas that saw dancing & drinking, a PG-13 strip-tease for a badass T-shirt, one limo and about six and half hours of my life that I just cannot recall...lost forever in the vastness of the Vegas nightlife.

Fast-forward quite a bit, and the Slugger's Society kind of went on hiatus, mainly because of the odd circumstances in which I met and fell dearly in love with Amy, I think. Even so, I still enjoyed the time spent with these people, and considered them friends in the dearest of sense of the word, even outside of work and social gatherings. Skip ahead further, and I've had the pleasure of hanging out with Kelly more, and the more I learn about her, read about her inner-musings (hurray LJ), the more endeared I become to her as a friend...someone I truly enjoy just being around, laughing with, and learning from. When I first started building this blog thing, I was thinking about who and what I wanted to share with the world, and she was one of the first that came to mind. It doesn't matter if you've never met Kelly or ever will, for that matter - read her LiveJournal for the mere enjoyment, perspective and comedy of it all. I stand by the fact that she and I were probably related in some former life, or at the very least, cut from the same bolt of cloth way back when. I think that's primarily why I find no base of attraction in the hot 6ft. blonde that kept spilling her drink on my bed.

Sure, you think about it for a second. But then...it'd be like kissing my sister.

Ew.

Besides, if it weren't for Kelly, I'd have never met Amy that one fateful Thursday night. For that, I will eternally be grateful to her, because I've never been happier.

So here we are, November 15th and the world should be celebrating the creation of this very special soul that is Kelly. I wish I had more to give, but at this point, all I have to offer is my thoughts and words here, and I hope she enjoys them.

I've been fortunate enough to have some very wonderful people in my life, and she is one of those at the top of that rather short list. Sure, there's plenty more to learn and share as we continue to build a friendship, and having a mutual project that we're both working on certainly helps. In a very matter-of-fact way, we barely know each other even now, but I still wanted to sit down and spend some time thinking about her, wish her a happy birthday in the only real, honest from-the-heart way I know how.

I write. That's what I do.

Love you, Snatchpatch. Congrats on surviving another year, and here's to many more.

Happy Birthday :)


//end.

Monday, November 13, 2006

The stars at night...

Well, I had quite a bit of rumination to go through on this fine, fine Monday morning, but it's going to have to wait. Moms is not feeling well, and since I don't start back to work 'till the 20th, I've got no excuse to not go up to the beach and see how she's doing.

In light of that, it wouldn't be right if I didn't provide at least a half-hearted attempt to amuse you in some regard, even if briefly - enjoy!

---
TEXAS Chili Cook Off

Judge #3 was an inexperienced
Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili
cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I
happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking for directions
to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the
other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that
spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the
tasting, so I accepted.”

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE’S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI…

Judge # 1 — A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 — Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 (Frank) — Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the
flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN’S AFTERBURNER CHILI…

Judge # 1 — Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 — Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.

Judge # 3 — Keep this out of the reach of children. I’m not sure what
I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who
wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer
when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED’S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI…

Judge # 1 — Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.

Judge # 2 — A bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 — Call the EPA. I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels
like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get
me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my
backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting shit-faced from
all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA’S BLACK MAGIC…

Judge # 1 — Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 — Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish
or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 — I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable
to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer
maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is
starting to look HOT…just like this nuclear waste I’m eating! Is
chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 LISA’S LEGAL LIP REMOVER…

Judge # 1 — Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,
adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 — Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must
admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 — My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and
I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me
needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that
her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from
bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if
I’m burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges
asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks

CHILI # 6 - VERA’S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY…!

Judge # 1 — Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 — The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and
garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 — My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I’m worried it will
eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except
that Sally. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a
snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN’S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI..

Judge # 1 — A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 — Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried
about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing
uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 — You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my
shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve
decided to stop breathing it’s too painful. Screw it; I’m not getting
any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the
4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM’S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI…

Judge # 1 — The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too
bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 — This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild
nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted,
passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself.
Not sure if he’s going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he’d have
reacted to really hot chili?

Judge # 3 - No Report
---

//end.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Unspoken is never the answer...

Life continues to amaze me. You'd think at this point in the game, surprises wouldn't be so...surprise-ey, right? But noooo no - Life is always looking for the punchline and I play right into it like a mark waiting to get duped by a street-corner game of 3-Card Monty.

Last evening, my dearest wanted to hit our usual weekday spot and grab a quick drink. Having had a pretty rough day, I knew things weren't totally kosher, but it seemed like she just didn't want to talk about it, which I understood. Eventually we did get into the cause of the crappy Monday, chatted it over while we enjoyed cold Coronas and the ever-sporty atmosphere of our beloved Slugger's. No worries, right?

Well, still. Something didn't seem right, and I just couldn't bring myself to think that it was anything positive. You know that feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop? Well, that was what I was feeling then and there, especially given the conversation we'd had prior to ducking out for a cancer stick.

Ok, just relax. Either she's being frustrated by outside crap infringing on The Happiness, or you're about to get the 'hey let's be friends' speech. Gird your loins my friend - this may not end well.

I know I know. I do my very best to NOT be that glass-is-half-empty person, but sometimes it's just inevitable.

Deep breath and patience. Oh...here it comes.


And then she said it. Almost inaudibly, given our surroundings. But she said it, and I heard it...and. Well, let's just say it takes a lot to stun me into a complete stupified silence, but she'd pulled it off.

After recovering myself and letting things sink in a little, and by that I mean thank God for beer at-hand - well, I just couldn't stop smiling like a complete buffoon. Being mentally prepared for knowing that the person YOU love is not in the same place you are just yet - that's one thing. I had happily resigned myself to waiting patiently, knowing that when the time was right, she would know, I would know...and it would be a wonderful thing. Once you get yourself into that Waiting mode, pushing certain things to the background so they don't manifest as 'pressure' and cause problems, it's a hell of a thing when you get completely 180'd like that.
All I could really do was sit there, trying to hide my goofy ear-to-ear grinning...I grabbed her hand, looked right into those beautiful eyes and replied in kind, and I don't think I've stopped smiling since.

The most ironic and appropriate side-note of the evening was that it all took place at the very table, on the very same stools where we had first met, talked, got to know each other amidst games of pool, too many shots and throwing of cell phones. It seemed so fitting...like we'd managed to make it around that particular merry-go-round in one piece and found ourselves happier than we were when we started, and looking forward to the next big adventures in life - together. Falling in love with her...hell, that was the easy part. My test was and will remain being worthy of her love, and I fully intend to continue rising to that challenge :)

*sigh* I know it's silly, but I do lead a charmed little life, and I've never been quite this pleased with where Life's funny punchlines are taking me.

--------

Ok enough with the sappy kissy-face crap - make with the fun here, and I hope everyone is having a delightful Wednesday afternoon.

- Since I'm on Poor status for the next week or so, I haven't gotten to see Borat yet, but it's #1 on the list of things to waste money on in the very near future.

In the mean time, go watch the trailer, then enjoy Borat on Letterman:




There's plenty more of Borat fun -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWflK8V1ERo

--

- Yes, I KNOW the YouTube-ry is getting out of hand, but someone *just* sent me this via Fark.com and it's brilliant:

Office Space: Recut


-

//end.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Tuesday: Supplemental Log

- I've discovered a slight downside to subsisting primarily on cigarettes, bottled water and whatever Amy's next culinary adventure may present - none of my stuff fits anymore.

I guess that's not a bad thing overall, really. Thank goodness for belts. I was planning on going for a swim today and then recalled that they're resurfacing the pool - closed for the next week. So it's back to smoking, writing and bottled water for today.

- Now that the pressure is off (mostly) in the finding work realm, I seem to be getting even more calls and emails about my availability. Tooting my little horn for a moment, I am rather proud of myself for landing an incredibly sweet gig inside of a week. That notwithstanding, however, it's been quite interesting seeing what else is out there and fielding calls and job stuff continously. The way things are shaking out now, I have nothing but opportunity in front of me and it is good.

- Even though Amy didn't seem to think we made much progress, Kel-icovision and I were throwing ideas around left and right the entire night. If you bother to read any of these journal entries, you'll quickly note my thought process and style of presenting those thoughts...sporadic is the best I could hope for. Now imagine having to deal with double that, in person, and under the auspices of a gallon of very fine rum. My dear Amy's level of patience is, without question, incredible.


- From the Awesome™ logfiles:



"GET BACK TO WORK!!"


You tell'em Paul Sr.


- Follow-up: For those of you that read about it (and I really do love you for it - you're on the Christmas card list, promise) - I took everyone's advice and at roughly 4am on a Sunday morning, let it all go and shared my fears and feelings with her.

And you know what?

You guys were so right. And it's fucking awesome :)


- I had grand plans of working on some more CSS customization today, maybe even break out the Photoshop and start doing some artwork for this thing, but I just can't get into it today. I know I need to sort out the links, build some more tables...bleh.


- Lastly, I wish I could do stuff like this guy, Christophe Gilbert Warning: some content not safe for work.

//end.

Soundwaaaaaave....!!

There are certain occassions where words just get in the way.



//end.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Where bad things happen...

Not even really sure where to begin, and this day's just barely half-over.

My adventures in life thus far have been just that: adventures. Yeah sure, some have been more on the 'hey that wasn't fun at ALL' side than not, but that's life as we know it, and things could certainly and undeniably be worse. Figuring out the headache of bills and what to wear to a job interview pales in the stress-level comparison to things like getting shot at or wondering if you're home just got jihad'ed into oblivion.

Yeah, me and my problems? Not so much.

Thing is, I still have to deal with them, and that's the part I hate the most. I just want things to be smooth, simple. Not easy, mind you. Easy is boring. I don't mind the adventure and chaos by any stretch, but it's the mundane crap that wears me down.

Eh.

I'm still working towards retiring from this life by 40 and trading in this little plot of Internet real estate for a beach somewhere in Mexico. Once I get there, you'll never hear from me again, I can promise that.

So what else is going on....

Oh right right - from the Department of Supporting Like-Minded Individuals That Andrew Cares About:

- You, the fabulous readers that I also care about (mostly), may have seen this linked up in the corner there, where I claim that I'd gladly trade in an existing relative of mine to call Kelly family. One hell of a cool chick and seriously, who doesn't like hot blondes on motorcycles? I mean really...

- Exhibit B is none other than the fabulous Amy, who I've mentioned sparingly in past blogzorings only because, well...frankly, I'm a chickenshit.

Well ok that's not true (mostly). Wait yes it is. I am such a chickenshit that even thinking about what I'm about to write is making my gut twist up into little knots of anxiety.

But what the hell. No one actually reads this anyway, so what do I have to lose.

Months back, I had the pleasure of meeting Amy quite by accident. One storied Thursday afternoon, I was being pestered by a coworker to join him and what I would later learn was his blind date over at the Shoe for drinks. Without saying as much, I was being drafted as his wingman and after much arguing (i really was tired and just wanted to go home and sleep), I agreed to hang out for a bit. Besides, I wanted to meet this Amy chick anyway and maybe shoot some pool with Snatchpatch if she stopped by.

Super. So I rolled up to the Shoe, and as I was lighting a smoke, Glenn introduces me to Amy...and frankly, 'holy shit' is about the only way to sum it up, as crudely as that sounds.

Hot. Smokin' hot. Way to go Glenn! I was thinking to myself as we walked in to order liquor and enjoy the evening.

Long story short, Amy and I shot pool, talked, drank, then we moved the little party up to Slugger's where we had more pool to shoot, more liquor to drink, and more to talk about. We all got pretty slammed, and shortly thereafter Kelly bailed...then Glenn took off, so it was just me and Amy hanging out late into the evening.

Uh, what? Dude I thought you said this was Glenn's blind date?

Right you are sir, and yes, as intended wingman for the evening I certainly let my boy down, but it wasn't planned that way, and I certainly felt like a giant tool thereafter. But when you just hit it off with someone like that...what can you do?

Editor's note: Glenn and I chatted about the whole thing well afterwards and we're all good. Love the guy and wouldn't want to ever lose his friendship.

Fast-forward a ways through long phone conversations, ducking out for a beer on occassion between work and picking up kids, and here we are. Looking back over what feels like a really, really long time, 'tho I know it hasn't, I've had a lot to think about and process. Going through the end of a relationship and coming out the other side like you've walked on fire...I think that's helped me in so many ways, and provided me with such perspective on who I am, where I want to go in life, and how I treat people around me. I've told Amy numerous times - she's getting the best version of me that's ever been, due in large part to me finally paying attention to how badly I can fuck things up when I don't pay attention.

The greatest thing about her...well, ok..there are many, many great things about her, which is why I'm sitting here typing away like this. Of course she's stunningly beautiful, incredibly intelligent and just a downright good person - those are all top-shelf qualities on anyone's scorecard.

One of the biggest things that attracts me to her, though, is her incredible strength. She too, has walked that fire, moreso than you or I will ever know or have to suffer through...and yet, she keeps going, keeps smiling, keeps changing lives and pushing through the chaos that seems to surround her.

I find that will, that determination and strength...just incredible.

So, here we are, and why I'm a chickenshit.

How do you tell someone that you love them, without old scars and new fears completely washing away whatever strength and character you think you may posses? I wish I knew, because even now, given all my own adventures and shortcomings in life, and all the issues (she calls them 'red flags') that present themselves when involving myself with her...I keep coming back to the same conclusion.

I think about her when I wake up.
I think about her when I fall asleep.
She's on my mind all throughout the day.
I love listening to her snore.
I love teaching her things I know, and learning things she knows.
She inspires me to think big, and yes goddammit why NOT write a screenplay or start a business of my own?

She is all of those things, and so much more, that I have this unyielding need to just blurt it out whenever she's around - but I can't.

I am so afraid of knocking down that last little bit of my protective barrier.
I am so fucking scared of what she'll say, or better yet - WON'T say.

I am terrified of getting hurt again, losing her...and all because I may or may not be pushing things too fast.

So what the fuck do I do?

*sigh* I think I'm a pretty good guy...or at least trying to be. I know it's stupid and cliche, but man, I've already seen myself getting old with this woman, and having such stories to tell along the way. Sure, there are red flags everywhere - but I just don't care. I have and can deal with just about anything, and would suffer through whatever I had to to make her happy and prove that I'm worth it. Worth loving back.

Eh.

Anyone have any ideas on how I can maximize my "Hey Amy - I love you, and have been falling in love with you since the day I met you" and minimize my 'ohshitohshitohshitohshit' ratio...I'd be more than obliged.

Until then, have a great weekend kids.

//end.

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Location: Seattle, Washington, United States

I'm old. I'm only 30, but some days I feel *old*. I have a beautiful 6 year old daugher. A nice life. A loving family. A gorgeous girlfriend. Yep, pretty boring. But dammit I'm here to write about it and you can't stop me!

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